Penitence
by The Little House Scribe
Summary: Words. They can mean so much, they can do so little. A girl tries to say sorry.


Buckbeak began to flap his wings when he saw Hagrid emerge from the back door of his hut, clutching a handful of dead rodents.

"I'm sorry, Bucky." Hagrid said, bowing as he looked into Buckbeak's eyes. "I know it's not fair."

Hagrid held up a ferret, and Buckbeak started tearing shreds of flesh away. Letting the rest drop to the floor, Hagrid rubbed the back of Buckbeak's neck, before walking away, feeling low for not being able to help any more.

Trudging back to his hut, Hagrid looked up at the darkening sky balefully, which had decided to drench the ground in another downpour of cold rain. As he was about to re-enter his hut, he noticed someone coming down the path.

It was someone very short, even for Hagrid's standards. Moving quickly through the rain, the figure's hood fell off, revealing a partially wet curtain of red hair.

"Hagrid," began Ginny Weasley, for it was she. Ginny walked up closer, seemingly teetering on the verge of saying something but not managing it. At last, when she was close enough to have to lean back to look up at him, Ginny blurted out the rest of her sentence. "Hagrid, I'm sorry. I really am. I know it doesn't do any good to say it, but I am sorry."

Hagrid's beetle-black eyes softened. "Let's get out of the rain, Ginny." Hagrid said, holding the door open for the girl to walk through, under his enormous arm. Fang, who'd been lazing next to the fireplace, leapt up and covered Ginny's face in slobber.

Ginny smiled slightly and patting the excitable boarhound.

"I appreciate the sentiment, Ginny, but yeh know that it's all stinkin' Malfoy's fault." Hagrid said, as he poured out two cups of hot chocolate.

"Oh, I've told myself that many times." Ginny replied, gratefully accepting the hot drink. "But I can't help feel that I could've done more. I know I could've – should've done more."

Hagrid's eyes flickered. "Yeh couldn't have done anything, Ginny. It's not as if yeh were there when it happened."

Ginny, who had noticed Buckbeak bucking against the tether of the rope, didn't reply at once.

"Poor thing." Hagrid said, following Ginny's gaze. "I have to keep him tethered. It's not fair; he's not a wild beast. It's stupid pride." Hagrid began angrily. "And Lucius Malfoy cannot see that his son his in the wrong 'ere, and neither can the Board of Governors."

Hagrid began to calm himself down, and looked at Ginny again, whose gaze had lifted from Buckbeak's struggles to fly free, to where a distant haze of darkness floated around; close enough so their horrible presences were ceaselessly felt.

And Hagrid was struck with the sudden realisation that Ginny wasn't apologising for the mistreatment of a Hippogriff. Something far more serious seemed to be the reason.

"I can't begin to imagine what you must've gone through in there, Hagrid."

Hagrid knew what she meant. Azkaban. The very thought of the name still gave him shivers. Still, he didn't understand why Ginny would feel so bad about it, beyond normal sympathy. She certainly shouldn't be looking like she was feeling it was all her fault.

"Ginny?" Hagrid began. Ginny looked like she was on the brink of crying, but she held it back and composed herself.

"Do you know how the Chamber of Secrets got opened, Hagrid?"

"Yeh." Hagrid replied. "It was You-Know-Who. Professor Dumbledore told me when I got back."

"But he didn't tell you how…"

"No, he…" Hagrid trailed off, seeing the anguish apparent on Ginny's face.

"It was me, Hagrid. I set the monster loose. It's my fault you got sent to Azkaban. I didn't have an idea of how bad it could be until the Dementors came here." Ginny shifted closer to the fireplace.

"Not many people know what really happened." Ginny went on. "Professor Dumbledore told me that it is for the best to keep it that way. Still, I can't help wondering how the other students would feel if they knew what I did to them; what I could've done to them."

"Yeh didn't do anything, Ginny. It was You-Know-Who who did it."

"But I didn't do enough to stop him!" Ginny protested. "I could've…"

"You did what you did, and as much as yeh might want to change that, yeh can't. Ginny, I know how yeh feel. Yeh not the only person who was used by You-Know-Who."

Ginny looked up with a start.

"I didn't expect yeh to know about it."

"Professor Dumbledore said that older and wiser wizards have been hoodwinked by Lord Voldemort. I can't see how it can be true."

"It is. All his Death Eaters, fer starters…"

"Death Eaters?" Ginny enquired.

"His followers." Hagrid explained. "They might think they're gettin' what they want with him, but he's jus using 'em. They're nothin' to him, no matter what they think."

Ginny fiddled with her cup as Hagrid went on. "Yeh've got nothing to feel guilty about, Ginny. He's crafty; an' few people can see through him."

"I know. Everyone keeps saying that, but…"

"Yeh feel like it's your fault. Last year, You-Know-Who tried to steal the Philsopher's Stone, an' Harry, Ron and Hermione went to stop him. But yeh know how he knew how to get past Fluffy?"

Ginny shook her head.

"I told him. He jus needed to get me a little drunk, and gamble on a dragon egg, and I told him everything." Hagrid hung his head. "I deserve to go to Azkaban just for that."

"Hagrid, no!" Ginny burst out. "It was a mistake! You…"

"I don't know what he did to yeh, Ginny, an' I don't think you want to say it. But yeh no worst than me, an' if I place my guess right, yeh a much better person than I am."

Ginny shook her head.

"I know yeh don't feel like it right now, but very few people could do what you did?"

"Let a monster loose?" Ginny asked, depreciatingly.

"No, fight him off. Some people would've given up. Some would've joined him, but yeh didn't."

"I didn't, Hagrid. Harry had to…"

"Harry wouldn't have been able to do anything if yeh gave up, Ginny."

Ginny's gaze flashed to meet Hagrids. The ghost of a smile began to form beneath his shaggy black beard.

"He couldn't make you give up then. Don't give up now, Ginny."

Ginny didn't smile, but her expression brightened. "Don't worry Hagrid. I won't."


End file.
